It felt like a thousand days they never been met when Aji opened the main door for Rian. Rian directly hugged Aji so tight, right after Aji closed the door. Kissed like they have no chance anymore to make it. From the lightest kiss, till the deepest one.

Sensually embraced.

Aji’s desire came up to the highest level. He missed the one in his arm, too.

The room belonging to Aji, immediately became erotic ambience, fight the heavy rain outside.

“You wanna stay tonight?”, asked Aji, in the moment when they were together get laid, enjoyed the rest of the pleasant they just had which slowly vaporized, fullfilled the room with their love fragrance.

“Do you want me to stay?”, Rian asked him back. His left hand reached the remote of the AC then pressed the down-temperature button.

“I want  nothing”, Aji moved up from his bed. Wore a boxer which just throwed in the moment they had sex. Touched the pad in his laptop so that it turned on, typed whatever it was.

“Is there something wrong?  You look so…. somber?”, Rian followed him to move up. Sat beside the bed with the blanket over his lap, covered his genital.

Aji pulled his chair over. Sat there faced Rian before he started to talk.

“Don’t you feel tired with everything we have, now?”, Aji stared straightly to Rian’s eyes. Gave a sign that he wanted to be serious in this discussion.

“And why do you ask that?”, again, Rian answered his question with a quest.

“Because i do. I’m tired with us. I’m tired to hiding us from everyone and everything. I’m tired to have fun with you on silent, under the darkness. Don’t you feel the same?”.

“What is this? I really don’t understand. We knew our condition before we decided to make it”, Rian get more confused.

“Decided what? Decided to keep our love decay under our blanket? Is that our choice?”.

“So, what you want, now?”, Rian shouted Aji back.

“We take a decision. Again”, said Aji.

“Not now. We’re in a high temper. We can’t think good in this moment. We. You and me”, Rian refused, tried to held Aji’s hands but it got refused, too.

“OK, then. We make it tomorrow. Afternoon. In the same place when we decided it for the first time”.

“And… now I want to be alone for awhile. I need my own space. Can you please sleep in another room? Or should i?”, Aji continued his line.

Rian didn’t answer. He just stood up, and wore his clothes. Moreover his shoes, too.

“I asked you only to go to another room”, Aji murmured.

“I go home”, Rian answered, without sight Aji back.

“Don’t be too much dramatic. It’s rain outhere”, Aji tried to stop Rian.

“What’s the different here? I have heavier rain here”, shouted Rian once he stopped his step and turned back his body, faced Aji which stood up wordless. He held his hand in his chest, drawed a hole which imaginary there.

Rian went out. Drove his car like crazy.




Rian woke up from his ugly sleep when the sunlight come accross his window. He forgot to close it last night. The ambience from the fight last night still stayed in his face.

His phone rang right after he decided to walk to kitchen to make some coffee for himself.

A short message from Yudha, his lover.

“Mom cook quite lot today. She ask me wether you can come and join us for lunch today. And… i miss you, so”

Rian drowned. The guilty feeling waved like a sea-storm. Anxious mind to defiance everything came without any warning.

He loves Yudha for every single day. They had passed thousand days together both in the dark, either in the light. Soulmate.

But Aji has completed him too. Aji makes him proud as he is, for everything he do.

It were hard, but he had to decide. It couldn’t be possible that he stay in two line, in the same time. He knew it would hurt. But he realized too, that there’s no choice for this kind of story.

Rian closed his eyes. Deep inhaled, just to make sure that the decision he just took right after he read that short message,was the best way.

That afternoon, he would make it over. Closed the gate to let the real life come…


*To be continued…



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